When I ended this blog, I did not intend to continue posting. Unfortunately, I needed an outlet which I was otherwise unable to find. The quality of my posts never rebounded from almost year ago.. While a broken heart usually inspires and channels creativity, a tired soul does not. Nor is the recovery easy. It's been nearly a year and I still feel the anger. The hopelessness. The general inability to take care of others, to give love where needed, to receive it openly. I'm broken, truly. I reached out to savor experience, aware of but ignoring the warnings my instinct felt, yearning desperately to feel loved and needed. The cost was more than I could bear. Now, all that is left is the empty shell of my former self.
Avoid those who seek self-fulfillment through their interactions with others. I was one of them. Only now do I see the danger of relying to heavily on others to determine self-worth. Even worse, I've seen the effects of people who make it their goal to achieve some kind of self-actualization from other people.. More often than not, those people are the liars, the players, the manipulators, the self-inflated megalomaniacs of the world. The good people are the ones who enjoy the company of others but do not make it their goal to actively seek it. The good people are the ones who have something to show for their lives and accomplishments. As for me, all I have left now is the slow process of rebuilding and setting my priorities straight. My love is true; don't take that for granted..