Hello scrublings! Since I'm halfway through my first semester of French, that automatically makes me an expert. Tired of being an english muffin? Well, today you're getting french-fried!

Learn to Speak French in 5 Minutes

Just follow these few easy steps to start your journey to frenchiness!

1. "Alors"

Don't ask what it means. It doesn't matter. Just say it often, anywhere in a sentence. Preferably multiple times.
"Alors" is pronounced ah-lore. (Don't forget to gargle your "r"! It's the french thing to do.)

2. "D'Accord"

Pronounced similar to "decor," it literally means "in agreement," or the frenchie equivalent to "okay." Should also be used often. Combined with "alors," you have just made your first french sentence. Congratulations!

3. Liason everything


"Liason" is french for "slur your words together." You should do it with every single word.
To use a proper liason, the last sound in a word is combined with the first sound in the next word. Thus, "it is" is now pronounced "ih-teez." Practice it out loud with the following sentence!
"Alors, French is the coolest language, d'accord."
If you said:
"AlorsFrenchisthecoolestlanguagedaccord"
très bien! You are now extremely french.

Stay tuned for Lesson 2, and keep eating those snail pancakes!

Swirling, dancing, utterly carefree, I am but a leaf caught in the wind.. catching one dream, then the next, carried high, soaring gracefully.. with the sky around me, sharing company with the moon and stars, I worry myself not with the cold, hard ground below. Still clinging to the warmth of summer, I worry myself not with the approach of winter's chill. For as long as I ride the winds of dreams, I may soar forever..

As per request, and since I had such an awesome time, I wanted to tell the story of my concert on Monday :)
When Chantell first introduced me to the artist, Emilie Autumn, I was excited.. but since the only videos we could find were bad Youtube clips probably taken at concerts with people's cell phones, I wasn't prepared at all for how incredibly good the show would be. The whole thing is done performance-style, quite charmingly, with a rather dark and gothic twist.
Just to give you a taste of what I'm talking about, here's a clip of one of the performances they do at every show. One very lucky female member of the audience is brought on stage to play the "Rat Game," to be deflowered by Naughty Veronica...



Sadly, Chantell and I weren't picked. We'll have to find other excuses for "cheating" on our boyfriends with another girl. (Oh, that won't be too hard, we've done it once already. Sorry Christophe and Andrew!) <3
The story behind the show is that it's set in the 1800's, and Emilie Autumn runs an insane asylum for wayward Victorian girls (her performers)..... so the songs are performed like circus acts with a dark, deranged twist, complete with dancing with flaming hula-hoops, over-the-top costumes, and... whatever you'd like to classify this as.....



During another song, they performed a "teatime" by pouring themselves cups of tea and taking bites out of cookies and cupcakes, then throwing it all at the crowd.. both the tea, and the half-eaten sweets. Delightful.
Definitely an experience, thank you Chantell <3

I made the mistake of eating a banana while walking to class. 
Random jerk: "Oh yeah, that's my dream girl right there."
Uh huh. Keep dreaming. 
I have to wonder though.. Did he even look at what I was doing to that poor banana? I was tearing off sections with my teeth, then chewing them to a state of utter pulverization. How is it sexy at all? If I was a guy, I'd cringe every time I saw a girl eating a banana. Just sayin'.

As I pick myself up from the pavement, the taste of dirt and blood fresh on my tongue, I laugh bitterly, and a grim smile takes my lips. I realize that I'll never be good enough. Ever. I can give myself wholly, selflessly, until there is nothing left but a cold, empty shell, and I still won't be good enough. I can work until exhaustion and sickness take me, and my youth and vitality slip away, devoured by the monster within, growing, spreading death and decay, and I still won't be good enough. I can love truly, endlessly, until the thieves and liars prey upon my heart and divide it up like lions at the slaughter, and I still won't be good enough.

The nightmares will never stop, because I will never feel safe again.

Even though it's probably the 300th flight I've ever taken, I still get chills when we take off and land.

It's not often that I am rendered speechless.. I'll simply say thank you. I have some incredible friends.

Words can be beautiful, but true beauty lies in that which you show when it matters the most. What makes a man great is the sum of his actions.. and I have yet to find a person who has proved himself to be truly great. I have seen men commit acts of greatness, however, in the most unlikely situations.. in a noisy bar, on a crowded campus.. a simple gesture or act done on impulse, without forethought, as a reaction to circumstance.. which betrays their purity of purpose and intentions.

So ask yourself, who are you? What are you made of?