I wonder what you would think, Pastor, to know that one of your most attentive listeners was not a Christian at all.

What I was searching for all along was always inside of me.  I AM full.  To let "God" into your life is simply a process of giving yourself over to what you truly are, to working hard, every day, to reach it, to embracing the truly important aspects of life and letting the others go.

I mourned not having family.  I mourned being alone for Christmas.  But what I have now is a rare opportunity to discover who I truly am, to be myself, without having to be what anyone wants me to be.  I can sing extra loud in church, or sing the wrong words, and not care about who might be judging me.  I can stay out late and watch movies until 6 am and simply be myself.
I will have family again.  This brief period of solitude will pass.  But I've lived my whole life for other people, for pleasing them, for going out of my way to make their lives better.  Such a rare opportunity to live for myself, however brief, should not be regretted or missed.

Merry Christmas everyone.  I hope you find this season what you are looking for, as I have.

You begged me, sobbing, to listen.  Delivered to my ears in the form of communication to which you have devoted your life and soul: a song; its lyrics cut through me like shards of ice, piercing my heart and cutting through the fog of my mind.  I didn't want to believe you.  By the time I did, it was too late.
You were always right.  No one has ever so clearly seen, or so fully embraced the essence of who I am.  You tried to warn me.  And you stood by helplessly as you watched a piece of me die.

The tears we shed that night, together, were not in vain.

I'm ready to start searching.

There's only one person you can rely on.  Nobody knows what's best for you but you.

You had a chance for something great.  Something beautiful beyond your wildest dreams.  And you lost it.  But you didn't let it slip through your fingers.. no.. you crushed it in your hand and watched as the pieces fell to the floor..

Airports used to mean adventure, excitement, the promise of something new and grand.

Lately though my trips to the airport always seem to end in tears.

Goodbye my beautiful creature, my baby boy.  The most empathic, smartest cat I've ever had.  You took care of me when I was sick.  When I cried, you nuzzled away my tears.  When I was lonely, you held me and kept me warm.  I'll miss you terribly.

Thanks, Youtube, for a never ending stream of nonsense and the occasional priceless find.. like this little gem here.





And this is the news clip that they autotuned to make the video.. yes, it's real.

Where are you?

I love the Nub Tales series on Youtube.  Some are hilarious, some are alright.. then, there's this episode.  It's a little on the serious side, but I like the message at the end.. perhaps, being a healer, it's close to my heart.

My birthday was fantastic.  Much love to all of you who made it a little brighter.

This is my December, this is my time of the year.

Christmas music makes me homicidal.  Is that normal?