Time and again.. life has cut through my confidence and challenged me with lessons of temperance and patience. Neither of these qualities suit me at all, and yet, here I stand once again, bearing their weight against the unrelenting tides of my volatile nature. 
Consumed with doubt, I allowed myself to believe the worst, and in the process, I nearly committed the very crime I feared. As a friend recently told me, we're smart enough to convince ourselves of anything, no matter how incorrect it might be. I stand humbled once again. 
And.. it's so easy to forget how much others rely on you, when you're busy dealing with your own problems. We don't even realize it, but the fabric of life for the people close to us has become inextricably interwoven with our own. The severing of one thread can unravel that fabric in ways we can't begin to imagine. So much more may depend on you than you realize. And once again, my compulsive desire for self-destruction is tempered only by my love of witnessing growth and beauty and strength in those whom I hold dear.