Tutorial for making art stuff

by, Eshae

Step 1. The proper setup

I'm a professional, so I don't expect you to have stuff nearly as cool as mine (see the graphing calculator? Yeah. You're jealous.). However, make do with what you have, and get extra materials ahead of time. Good art is good preparation, as my art teacher used to say. As an artist, your most important tool is, of course, your drug of choice. Today, mine is coffee. Your second most important tool is music. Play it loud enough that it's damaging your eardrum, but not so loud that it causes your canvas to vibrate, as that might detract from the artistic process.

Step 2. Apply your medium lovingly to the canvas

Yes, lovingly. Trust me, the canvas can tell. Show your medium the proper respect. Today I'm using pastels, applied first with a dry wash using cotton balls, then with my fingers.

The dry wash will come out much lighter than intended; that's ok, because it's just a base color for one of many, many layers which will be applied.

As my art teacher used to say, the process of shading is extremely important. Starting from the darkest regions of the canvas, work your way to the lightest to gradually build color. Shading properly, he would say, is the key to good technique. Always shade from dark to light.

.... or was it light to dark? I could never remember. That teacher was a jerk anyway.

Step 3. F#&k step 2

You know what? Art is much better when you're angry. Let go.

Oh God I'm bleeding

Step 4. Forget everything else, including bodily functions

I tried to get up and eat at some point, but the canvas kept begging for more. Goddamn needy bitch. It's alright though, because hunger actually helps the process. Ever wonder why we're called "starving artists"? It's not (only) because we're paid mere pittance. It's actually a choice. Hunger makes us bitter and angsty; quite beneficial for art. I'm too cool to eat. Ooh, so artistic.

That's all for today. Apparently the Day Star only shines during the day (who knew?!), and blending colors/shading by artificial light sucks. See you tomorrow.

Love, Eshae