What is it exactly that gives us the feeling of time slowing down or speeding up? Certainly time seems to pass more quickly when we're enjoying ourselves, but not always.

This past month has seemed like so much longer. My own world slowed down to a halt, for the first time in a while I may open my eyes and truly see. On bated breath I pause, the air around me utterly still, my mind transfixed by new sensations.

In what should have been a time of sorrow and mourning, I instead find myself smiling. Laughing. Entirely carefree.

My perspective regarding who I am and what I want out of the people around me has completely transformed. I had myself convinced that the bad comes with the good; that perhaps I deserved to be treated poorly because I am myself flawed.

But the feeling I have had spending the entire last month with people who encourage and uplift me.. it's breathtaking.

For so long I punished myself for my past. Put myself down. Suffered as penance for my crimes. It's so easy to believe the bad stuff; it's much harder to believe the good. It's also incredibly hard to take responsibility for your own life and actions. Giving excuses is easy: the hard part is facing the fact that you're on your own, and no one is going to save you. What you do with it is your choice and yours alone.

I've made it my goal to fill my life with only good from now on. I'm ready to truly live. And let time keep ticking on slowly; I'm savoring every second.