Hardened, strengthened, humbled by the crashing waves and swirling torrents beating down, tugging relentlessly, dragging me under, crushing the breath from my lungs and life from my body, I grasp desperately as I'm pulled under the current.  I search for something to hold onto, something to steady me in the tide; my hands close upon something.. but as I grip, I feel it crumble in my fingers, and once again I'm surrounded, pressed on all sides again by the cold darkness.